If you've ever been responsible for a staff retreat, then you know it can be nerve-racking. You have to be clear about the objectives and the flow and know that literally anything can happen to alter the plan. And then you watch staff enter the room with a degree of skepticism, a smidgen of hope, a sense of pride and a dash of fear.

The goals for the recent Americans for the Arts staff retreat were to deepen an understanding of diversity, equity and inclusion at our organization; build appreciation and respect for each other's work; and make personal commitments to contributing to a positive workplace. I had another goal that I didn't share with staff. The world is in turmoil and I want to work at a place that is invested in making positive change and where the staff is committed to growing, learning, and deeply caring about each other. I hoped the retreat would reaffirm these characteristics of Americans for the Arts while giving me the faith I need to keep moving forward through the ongoing challenges that come with working for a company that is entrepreneurial, fast-paced, and personality-driven.

A degree of skepticism,
a smidgen of hope,
a sense of pride,
and a dash of fear.

Now that it's over, I can say I think we did pretty well. Look, when 65 staff members come together with individual truths to address issues of diversity, equity, and inclusion, the potential is powerful. We chose to support one another in our journey rather than critique and judge. We chose to accept that our use of hierarchical privilege can create conflict rather than deny that possibility. We chose to be honest and open in our sharing rather than be afraid that what we said could be wrong. I was very proud of the brave and forthcoming participation of Americans for the Arts staff. Not everyone made these choices every time but it was clear that that was the goal and it felt like many people were all in.

Maybe I am seeing what I want to see, but I grew during the retreat and I believe others did too. I grew when long-standing local arts and community leader Margie Reese reminded us of the importance of staying in difficult conversations even when you want to step away. I grew when diversity and equity facilitator Carmen Morgan stressed that discomfort can lead to progress especially when you are empathetic and open to learning from others. I grew when our colleague Dennis Barrett led an exercise during which staff were asked to walk around a circle of seated staff who had their eyes closed and tap those they admire, make them laugh, make them feel valued, and on and on. Every tap I received made me grateful, gave me courage and made me so glad to be a part of a team that has influenced my life and heart beyond measure.

I know that I am privileged. I have authority at work. I am a white woman with ease of entry. And all of that comes with a responsibility. I have a responsibility to myself, my family, my friends, my community, and the Board and staff who make Americans for the Arts a unique and amazing place to work. It is a special place where we deliver more work than anyone outside of us really understands. With such productivity can come impetuousness, high demands, and unrelenting expectations that can lead to joy, pressure and sometimes disrespect. It's not always for the faint of heart. But neither is true leadership.

There may still be skepticism and doubt about whether we will maintain our commitment to building a diverse, respectful and innovative work culture. That skepticism is certainly understandable, but I will not let that influence my drive to move forward. What I believe, and it's a belief I felt during the retreat from other staff, is that we can do anything if we do it together.